Lots have been written about Ukrainian women. Adjectives like feminine, traditional, graceful, and, of course, beautiful are typically thrown around.
And, after living here for more than seven years, I have to say that I must agree. They’re all that. They easily represent all those adjectives. But, like anything else, it’s not that simple, with femininity and beauty comes increased responsibility and other things. Dating Ukrainian women automatically exposes you to things that you may not be aware of.
But, still, it’s great to be single in a country with so many beautiful women running around. I honestly don’t know what I would do if I was married or in a serious relationship.
In all honesty, I couldn’t have picked a better place to be single if I tried.
Yep—I’m one lucky SOB.
In this article, I want to share with you my experiences, what I learned, and the general do’s and don’ts of dating some of the most beautiful, sexiest and feminine women that have graced this fine earth.
Ukrainian women characteristics
In the face of the rapidly Westernizing world, Ukrainian women are still relatively traditional. Now, of course, Western influences and Westernization is sweeping across the world and, unless you’ve been living in a cave for the past twenty years, you’ll discover that Ukrainian women are also watching shows like Sex And The City, take CrossFit classes and dream about Gucci bags.
Honestly, this surprised me at first, too. Just the other day, I discovered that the girl I’m currently dating loves watching shows such as Suits, Lucifer, and Orange Is The New Black. Plus a bunch of other shows I know about, but don’t watch. She’s from a small town in Ukraine and has never even been to America.
But that’s where the similarities between Ukrainian and Western women end. 99.9% of Ukrainian women absolutely want to get married and have kids. That’s unlike America where things like career easily take precedence over having marriage and kids.
In America, it’s perfectly normal to be a woman who’s 35 or 45 and not be married or have kids; there’s absolutely no stigma there.
In Ukraine, however, this would be considered weird or strange. Not long ago, Ukrainian women used to get married around the age of 25, nowadays, this occurs closer to the age of 30.
If a Ukrainian woman approaches the crucial age of 28-30 and still hasn’t gotten married (while most of her friends have), the outside pressure is so high that she starts to believe that something is wrong and her behavior will change accordingly.
For women in Ukraine, the rush is on to get married and have kids by the age of 30.
Where to meet Ukrainian women
Ukrainian women are easygoing and fairly receptive to be approached out and about so it’s usually not a problem to meet them out in public in places like the street, coffee shops, restaurants, stores, etc.
I’ve met lots of women in all of the above places so it’s not like one place is better than another. One thing I noticed is how relaxed they were when I approached them in places like coffee shops, restaurants or simply walking on the street. It was as though being approached by a random stranger was a routine part of their day.
Another option is to meet women online using the multitude of online dating sites and dating apps. The notable apps are Tinder, Badoo, Bumble and others.
I won’t deny that I’ve also met a good share of women online, but must admit that the quality tends to be lower than approaching women in the wild.
Big cities vs small cities
Common sense dictates that people are generally friendlier and more approachable in smaller cities than huge metropolises. My experience has actually been the opposite.
I’ve actually found it much easier to meet women in the bigger cities than smaller ones. It was easier to meet and connect with women in a big city like Kiev than smaller 2nd/3rd tier cities like Lviv, Chernigov, Poltava, and even Dnipro or Odessa.
Most likely that’s because bigger cities are generally much more open and cosmopolitan not to mention that the inhabitants there aren’t just for the big city but have also immigrated from other parts of the country in search of better opportunities.
The ideal age range
When I initially moved to Ukraine, I went out with women of all age ranges, with most of these women being in their early 30s and even a few in the mid-30s.
I figured dating women closer to my age made sense since that would mean we’d have more things in common. (I’m in my 30s).
Eventually, I realized that something happens with a woman once she reaches the magical age of 30-32. By that age, chances are she’s had lots of experience with plenty of guys and, has consequently, experienced lots of rejections, a couple of failed long-term relationships, and maybe even a failed marriage or two.
As a result, a good portion of these 32+-year-old women become frustrated and jaded. They’re frustrated because they’ve reached an age where most of their friends are getting married and even having kids, but, yet, all they have to show for are a couple of failed relationships (or lots of failed flings with lots of random guys).
In Ukraine, women who are 32-years-old also tend to lose that “freshness” that is typically associated with younger women in their 20s. They lose that sparkle in their eyes and tend to blame their inability to find a good man onto the world.
Many women around the age of 31 or 32 who’re still single give up the search for more serious relationships and decide to let life just take its course.
Of course, having said that, I don’t remember ever meeting a single woman over 32 years old who wasn’t particularly frustrated as to why she couldn’t find a “good man” and get married.
In fact, my biggest dating and relationship frustrations were usually with women over the age of 32-33 (the older the woman, the greater the frustrations). So much so, that, after time, I stopped going after those older women altogether.
On the other side of the spectrum, there are the young women in their early 20s. I have several friends who don’t date women over 25. Personally, I’m not much of a fan of women that young; I find them too immature and don’t really have much in common with them. But if that’s your thing, then by all means, go for it.
The best age range to target—especially if you’re looking for a long-term relationship or marriage—is a woman in her late 20s, so someone who’s 27-29. A woman in this age range has had her share of fun and is now realizing that she’s getting older and is thinking about settling down and getting married.
Furthermore, if you’re interested in getting married and having children, it’s crucial to understand that a woman’s reproductive ability starts to gradually diminish starting with the age of 30; after the age of 35, her chances of getting pregnant decrease rapidly.
Obviously, if you’re younger than 30, you’re naturally going to be aiming for women in their 20s. But even if you’re under, say, 45, there’s also little reason to date women in their early-mid 30s and up unless that’s what you specifically want; aiming for women in their mid-to-late-20s is perfectly fine and culturally acceptable.
Dating do’s and don’ts
Since Ukrainian women are fairly traditional, you must reprogram your behavior if you come from a predominantly Western country such as America, Canada, Australia, the UK, Western Europe, etc.
In the West (especially in the big coastal liberal cities), it’s very common for women to be more masculine and competitive, but in fairly traditional countries such as Ukraine, things work very differently.
For instance, the “ball-busting” attitude that works so well in Western countries and America will not work well in Ukraine. I can’t imagine a single Ukrainian woman that will respond well to the typical American “ballbusting” and posturing.
Instead, Ukrainian women respond better to what I call the “nice guy with an edge” game. That is, smooth and friendly—but still aggressive—seduction without the negative, jerk behavior.
I can’t count how many times I fell into the “ball-busting” trap and ended up killing all my chances with a particular woman. I also remember numerous times when I was acting like a jerk mainly because I was frustrated with her lack of interest and also believed that acting like an inconsiderate jerk would somehow improve my chances with her. That worked pretty much zero percent of the time. Don’t make that mistake.
The dating game plan
I generally follow “three date rule” when dating Ukrainian women. Unlike in the US, where one-night-stands are fairly common, it’s fairly rare to sleep with a Ukrainian woman on a first date. This usually happens by the third date or so.
I’m also not a huge fan of “day dates.” I never invite or accept an invitation to getting coffee, lunch or walk around during the daytime. Instead, my preferred method for a first date is something like beer or wine at a restaurant, bar or lounge.
That’s because I want to send a message that I’m interested in her romantically and not looking for another “friend” with whom she can drink some coffee during her lunch hour. Meeting at a cozy restaurant or bar for a drink in the evening is a great way to do that.
Another great idea is to invite the girl back to your house to have some wine and enjoy a great meal. You have a cool pad in the center and know how to cook, right? I wouldn’t recommend it for an initial date or two but is super ideal for the third date or so.
I expect intimate relations to commence on the 2nd or 3rd date. So, it’s a bad sign if things are dragging into the 4th or 5th date and the woman still refuses to come back to your place. Unless she has a very good reason, 99% of the time it means she’s not attracted to you in a sexual way.
I noticed that many of my best and most fulfilling relationships moved extremely fast right from the get-go. There was an instant attraction and we couldn’t get our hands off each other.
Dating red flags
If you’re courting a woman, it’s crucial to be aware of the common red flags. These are signs that a woman gives off when her interest in you is lukewarm at best.
Don’t pursue (or actively pursue) women who wait too long before replying to your messages or calls.
While I understand that people are busy and everyone is trying to do a million things at once, I don’t like to wait too long for responses from anyone. Call me impatient, but I typically don’t bother pursuing women who take hours to reply (or, worse, days). Obviously, that means she’s got more important things to do than to meet a new man.
Don’t do day dates.
The second red flag is when a woman suggests to meet up during the day (because she’s “busy” at night). As I wrote above, day dates are not ideal for a magnitude of reasons. I usually schedule my dates for 7-8pm, which is not too early but also not too late (in case she needs to wake up early the next day). So, if a woman categorically refuses to meet at around 7-8pm, I take it as a sign that she’s not too interested and has better options.
Don’t meet her on her terms.
Another red flag is when a woman is unwilling to meet up in a place you suggest (typically the center or a centralized neighborhood of the city).
I mostly rent apartments in the center of every city that I stay in. But because it’s fairly expensive to live in the center of any city, many locals can’t afford to have a pad in the center and, instead, live in more remote neighborhoods.
Naturally, I always propose to have a date in the center simply because there are more things to do; it’s the center after all.
Even if you’re not based in the center, you should still offer to meet there. The only exception is if you’re both located outside the center but live close to each other.
I’ve had women that were unwilling to go to the center and would say things like, “I’m too tired. Let’s meet in a coffee shop outside my house or in my neighborhood.” Her neighborhood would typically be 20-45 mins outside of the city center.
I also had women tell me, “At 7 pm, I would be in this shopping center,” as a response to my offer to meet up after work. Naturally, this shopping center would also not be in the center.
Many men would be tempted to drive out to her neighborhood, thinking that because they’re near her house, this means the date would somehow lead to an easy score. That’s a trap.
When a woman doesn’t want to meet in the center—where you propose and where all the action is—it means she’s not willing to put in the effort to see you, pure and simple. Move on.
Don’t pursue women who try to educate you on the role of the sexes.
One thing I noticed with older, 30+ women, is that they always seem to be “experts” on the man’s role and women’s role in a relationship.
It seems that most of these women have had so many failed relationships that they now spend their time voraciously reading self-help and relationship magazines written by other women in order to figure out what men want.
These include women who will recite you passages from books such as Men Are Mars; Women Are Venus and others.
These women think they’ve figured everything out except how to be happy. Avoid them.
Pass over women who meet the criteria above, and you’ll be less frustrated with women who want nothing to do with you and be one step closer to meeting the women who actually want to spend time with you.
How relationships work in Eastern Europe
In the West, you can be dating or living with a girl for many years without making it “official.” But in Ukraine, the end goal of all relationships is marriage and children. I have never met a single Ukrainian woman who didn’t want to get married or didn’t want to have children.
That’s why, for the most, relationships move fast in Ukraine. I’ve had situations where I would meet a girl and then a month later, she would almost move into my apartment, or I would be spending most nights at hers.
Unlike in the West, where you have to compete with a million other things for a woman’s time and attention, there’s never that “busy vibe” in Eastern Europe. A woman who likes you will always make herself available to you and not pretend to be busy because she has pilates in Wednesday or yoga on Friday.
One of my friends from Odessa, recently told me how he met a girl on the beach and proposed to her after only three weeks. They’re now happily married and are expecting their first child.
Another friend of mine met a girl on the street in downtown Kiev. After two weeks, she moved into his apartment. They were engaged two months later.
In Eastern Europe, people waste less time “dating” around. The end goal is always marriage and kids.
Relationship red flags
After dating lots and lots of Ukrainian women and having a handful of relationships (some serious), I now want to talk about some of the red flags in a relationship.
As a foreigner, the number one thing you need to concern yourself with is being with a woman who doesn’t really love you and genuinely enjoys your company, but is only using you as a gateway to a better life (ie, she wants to immigrate to your rich country—more on that below). Or she’s simply using you for money.
This is an insidiously difficult thing to notice because when a man is in love, he’s blind to everything else.
Avoid women who aren’t happy in Ukraine and want to immigrate to another country
As a foreigner, you will be a natural target for such women.
Many Ukrainian women believe that Western countries like America or England are exponentially better for having a quality life because in those places “money grows on trees” and great-paying jobs are everywhere.
Actually, this can’t be further from the truth. What they don’t know is that getting a nice job in a place like America requires demonstrable skills (ie, being a doctor or nurse), skills that they don’t have.
Second—and most importantly—if a woman isn’t happy in Ukraine and wants to move to America without a goal or objective (and a Fortune 500 company offering her a great job), there are deeper issues beneath the surface.
Who says she’ll be happy in America? Who says she won’t want to immigrate somewhere else after six months or a year?
It’s much better to meet a woman who’s already happy where she is right now and isn’t itching to pack up and move somewhere new. A woman who’s well-established in her country and city would make a better long-term partner than someone who’s constantly itching to move.
Avoid women who want to use you
I’ve dated women where all I did was take them out, bought them stuff, had sex every now and then, but still felt I was being used in some way.
Many times the girl was indifferent to me and mostly used me as a tool to enhance herself in one way or another.
A great way to see if your girl is really into you is to ask her to do something for you. It can be something as simple as calling a hotel to make a reservation where you’re about to stay on the weekend to something more complicated where she can help you by leveraging her professional connections or family.
If she won’t go out of her way to help you, it probably means she doesn’t really care about you and is only with you because of what you can do for her financially or because of your status.
As mentioned above, the goal of all relationships is eventual marriage and children. Only the most naive of the naive men think they can simply “date” a Ukrainian woman for five or ten years without making any sort of commitment like you can with an American woman.
Ukrainian women are especially suitable for marriage. They’re traditional, family oriented and appreciate being in a committed relationship.
While Ukrainian culture isn’t as patriarchal and strict as the ones in some Muslim countries, A Ukrainian woman would never “disobey” her husband like the “independent” Western women. She will never tell you, “you don’t own me” or “who do you think you are.”
Once you marry a Ukrainian woman, you assume all the responsibility and the woman would respect your authority and follow your lead.
Having said that, it’s important to be aware of the common marriage scams that are associated with this part of the world.
There are a lot of scams happening in Ukraine. From the “fake policeman” scam who extort money from foreigners on the streets to various apartment scams, but nothing matches the “marriage scam” in heartache and financial loss.
I’ve personally received no less than ten emails from readers this year who were scammed by Ukrainian women into marrying them and then broke things off. They either met them on some online site or in person while they were visiting Ukraine. In retrospect, the scams are all exactly the same.
A foreigner (usually an American or Brit) either goes to Ukraine and meets the girl there or he meets here beforehand on one of the dating sites. They commence the relationship. After a while, they decide to get married (usually at the woman’s urging).
Once she reaches America’s shores, the woman’s mood changes. She begins to disrespect her new husband. They begin arguing more often. Eventually, she files for divorce. At this point, she most likely found a wealthier suitor to marry her so she’s able to remain in the country.
This actually happened to a Ukrainian friend of mine who is living in New York. He met a girl in Ukraine, kept in touch with her for a few years, got married, brought her over and then the trouble began.
They ended up getting divorced and she went back to her homeland.
Of course, I’m not saying that this will happen with every woman you meet. There are plenty of great women with whom you can have amazing relationships; I’ve had such relationships with many of them myself. But there are also many bad apples who are very skilled at manipulating guys to get what they want.
Ukrainian women: the ugly truth
Ukrainian women are awesome. I honestly don’t think I’ve been in another country which had as many beautiful women as in Ukraine. Not only that but their traditional background also makes them excellent wife material.
Nevertheless, I would be lying if I finished this guide without mentioning the negatives. First of all, there’s a noticeable transactional element when it comes to your relationship with your Ukrainian girlfriend.
It’s a given that she’ll never whip out her wallet for anything. There’s no such thing as “going Dutch” or splitting the bill. If she’s with you, she expects you to pay.
Most of the women I met are also overly materialistic and status-seeking. I’ve known women who spent all their life savings on a new $900 iPhone—when they lived on the outskirts of the city in a rundown neighborhood and were making just $200/month.
I’ve also known women who would have zero financial accountability and would blow their entire paychecks on expensive clothes and bags. All knowing that they had zero savings in the bank.
Buying gifts (some expensive) are also fairly common. So, your girlfriend might get pretty pissed off at you if you fly back home to New York City, London or Los Angeles and return without a new iPhone or trendy (and not cheap) pair of shoes.
This is obviously a far cry from a typical Western woman who would never beg you to buy her an iPhone or a Victoria Secret lingerie.
Be picky and filter ruthlessly
Looking back at my serial dating lifestyle, one thing I regret the most was not ruthlessly filtering women that I knew right away weren’t really into me, or I wasn’t really into them.
Thanks to a plethora of online dating apps, Instagram, and even unlimited opportunities to meet women out in the wild, you can meet lots and lots of women and then have the luxury to filter out the ones you want.
Sometimes you don’t know what’s going on but feel something is off. Maybe you feel that a woman is trying to use or play you, or maybe she’s fantastic but you’re not crazy about her. The solution is to let her ago and keep looking. There are plenty more fish where that came from. Don’t waste your time on “maybe’s.”
Nowadays, I don’t have a problem killing a date in mid-sentence if I feel it’s going to be a waste of time.