How To Tell If Your Ukrainian Girlfriend Really Loves You

While Ukrainian girls are extremely beautiful, feminine and affectionate, they could also be very sneaky and manipulative. I suppose this is more or less true of all women, but I believe it's especially applicable to Ukrainian women.

I have lots of friends in this country, and I heard stories that you wouldn't believe. Not only are they very good at getting what they want from Ukrainian boyfriends or sponsors, but they're also really good at extracting resources from unexpecting foreigners.

Tell me if you've heard this story before. A man comes to Ukraine. He meets a girl. They fall in love. They get married. She takes his money and leaves him for another (richer) man. There can also be a part where they immigrate to a richer country.

This is so common that there is even a show about it on Netflix, chronicling the journey of several American men who went to Ukraine to find a wife. All of them, except for one, were scammed one way or another.

While it's pretty straightforward to meet Ukrainian women, it's a bit more difficult to really know whether the girl you really like (or love) actually feels the same way about you. As they say, a man in love is like a blind dog; he can't “see” anything, let alone whether the woman he's with actually loves him back.

Here is some advice for figuring out how she really feels about you.

  • Ask your friends. Since the person who's in the relationship is completely blind to the outside world. He loves the girl and convinces himself that she feels the same, you need to get other people involved. Those people should be people who know both of you and can give impartial advice. I remember when I was dating a girl I wasn't sure about, I took her for lunch with a close relative and her husband. Well, my suspicions were confirmed when they told me she wasn't too crazy about me and was just using me for money.
  • Observe how she looks at you. A girl who's in love or at least really respects her man looks at him in a certain way. She doesn't get pissed off. She doesn't go into a rage. She has a certain look of admiration and respect. If you're not familiar with it, observe other couples around you. Study the girl. Does she seem pissed off? Or is she patient and loving around her man? That's how your girl should be behaving.
  • Ask her to do something for you. A girl who truly loves you will be happy to help you out and do something for you. A girl who doesn't truly love you will make excuses and not do it. The favor in question doesn't need to be super extravagant, but it needs to require some effort. It cannot be to “Google something.” Instead, it should be, go to a store and see if they have something. Or call up this person and make a hotel reservation. A woman who doesn't care about you will make every excuse in the book to get out of the situation. That's a bad sign.
  • Get her to put (more) effort into dates. As a man, initially, you're making the effort in meeting and arranging dates. It's your job to call her, arrange a date, make a reservation in a restaurant, pay, and repeat the process a couple of times. But, once the relationship is established, she should be at least putting some effort into it. While it shouldn't be taking you to expensive places and paying for you (although that would be certainly nice), she should at least do something. That could be cooking for you at her (or your) place. Or, it could be a random gift once in a while. It must be some gesture. She must actually care. Otherwise, what's the point of the relationship?
  • If you imagining it, you're not imagining it. One of the things I learned in Ukraine is that if you feel something is off, then you're not feeling it – something is probably wrong. There's even a Russian proverb that everyone uses. So, if you feel that she's just using or playing you, chances are she's probably using you. If you feel she's cheating, then she's probably cheating. If you feel she's using you to immigrate to your rich country, then she's probably using you to immigrate to your rich country. It's that simple. Keep this mind at all times.

Ultimately, it comes down to this: a girl who's in love is a girl who wants to please you. It's not a girl who is always in a bad mood, annoyed at everyone, including you.

Hopefully, the advice above will help you build a strong and positive relationship with great women while cutting out the ones who only want to use you for their nefarious means.

3 Comments
  1. jim says

    Javier, i live in USA and i am from Guadalajara, Mexico. i have a gf in Ukraine and hopping you could give me a hand with leads and pointers. I do not think its the case , but i want to do everything so i do marry a woman that loves me and not one to “use me” will highly appreciate if you reply to my request.

    saludos paisa
    Jim

  2. Rony says

    Hi,
    I m from India and I m working in Thailand I contacted with a Ukrainian girl through a Thailand dating site.
    After two or three mail’s she is asking for help but she has not mentioned the kind of help she needs.
    She introduced herself as a nurse in children’s hospital and that was destroyed in recent bombings on tuesday.i don’t know it is real or not.
    Help me to find out what is going to happen with me.

    1. In-ukranian wanderer says

      Well, check in the news if the bombing happened for real. I’m sorry, but I think you should say her goodbye before it is too late.

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